Ladies and gentlemen, do not buy the following typewriter:
It is a Canon Typestar 6.
It was a streak of stupidity that came over me today. A powerful knock to the head that induced the extraction of a ten dollar note from my wallet in exchange for this thing. Before you all call me an idiot I have some last words before you do so: Yes, I know, I’m an idiot.
In a feeble attempt to justify it, I had notions of turning it into a computer connected ‘thing’. Whether it would post tweets on Twitter or print my emails I didn’t know, but it all sounded like a good idea. That was until I got home. First signs were bad, and the first impression’s everything. The first impression that I’m talking about? Oh, just the little technicality that it didn’t turn on.
The fuse was fine. The switch still worked. The connexions seemed all okay. Despite all this the confounded screen refused to light, and the thermal print head did not make its own first impression. I tried a few more things. Checked voltage, measured amperes, but it drew to a close. I conceded defeat. My dream of an inter-house AP style newswire would have to wait another day, and for another typewriter.
My hopes that it would work were really optimistic, something that hindsight allows me to say. I had this very frivolous notion in my head that it would all work perfectly, and the reason that it had been discarded was not because it didn’t work, but because it had been superseded. You know you’re in a bad way when you’re filling your own head with propaganda.
What will I do with it now? The thing is that I haven’t quite removed all the frivolous notions out of my head that suggest that it could still work. The Jasper’s Brain Ministry of Information is still pumping out utter nonsense. I hold dear the hope that I, with time and more experience, will be able to get it all working again. That said, I don’t think I’ll be taking anymore risks with untested electronic ‘typewriters’.
More hindsight recollections: don’t buy electronic typewriters. Stick to machines, not measly printers. And don’t let the evil money removing gremlins rear their ugly heads again.